Traced Back to You
by bluecrush-x
Summary: Post 3x22. Santana sees the way Brittany tries to make light of it, to play it off like it's no big deal. But it is a big deal. Santana knows Brittany wanted to graduate with them and Santana knows Brittany's smart enough to get the grades...


**Title:** Traced Back to You  
**Pairing:** Santana/Brittany  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Word Count:** 2,500  
**Disclaimer:** None of the Glee characters belong to me; I'm just borrowing them for a bit.  
**Summary:** Post 3x22. _Santana sees the way Brittany tries to make light of it, to play it off like it's no big deal. But it is a big deal. Santana knows Brittany wanted to graduate with them and Santana knows Brittany's smart enough to get the grades, and that's why she can't just let this all go like it's nothing._

* * *

The red envelope tucked away neatly in her bag makes Santana feel like the weight of the world is perched on her shoulder. She should be celebrating right now. Graduation over and done with, no more high school, not _ever_. She should be light and free, face lit up with an excited smile over all the endless possibilities of what her her life has to offer now that she's able to really start living.

But as her parents look over at her, proud beaming smiles etched on their faces as they lift their glasses and make a toast to her, all Santana can do is look over the table at the empty chair... the chair where Brittany's tall, lean frame should be sitting, with aher gorgeous blue eyes bright and happy as she clinks their glasses together in celebration of their graduation, the unspoken promise of the start of their life together entwined with the happiness of their '_cheers!_'.

It doesn't feel right to celebrate, not when it means looking forward to a future where she and Brittany don't take that next step, that first real leap into adulthood together. The thought of being somewhere that Brittany isn't, of leaving Brittany behind is enough to deflate Santana's elation at finishing high school, her heart twisting in her chest and making each beat ache longingly.

Her parent's must sense her mood when she pushes her dessert around the plate aimlessly, the thoughts running around her head chanting an endless '_Brittany, Brittany, Brittany_', as her mother reaches over and covers her hand, a soft, knowing smile on her face.

"Do you want to go home, mi amor?"

Santana mouth curls up into an apologetic smile as she nods her head. "Yes, please."

Her mother gives her hand another squeeze as she signals for Santana's father to ask for the bill. "Why don't you give Brittany a call? Ask her to come stay the night. We'll pick her up on the way home."

Santana feels her eyes burn with tears as her mother's hand comes up to cup her cheek, her thumb soothing across her skin as Santana murmurs a thankful, "Okay."

* * *

Brittany's eyes are downcast, her smile shy as she climbs into the back of the car next to Santana, her gaze flicking up to meet Santana's briefly before she stares down at her lap. Santana wants nothing more than to reach across the space between them and entwine their fingers but somehow the space feels so wide that she doesn't think she'll be able to reach her even if she tries.

She wonders if this is what it's going to feel like between them now; as together as they've ever been, and yet already so far away.

It doesn't feel fair. It isn't right.

The silence that stretches out between them on the drive to her house is so unbearable that Santana turns her head to look out of the window, her teeth biting down on her lip to stop the whimper from escaping out of her mouth.

She misses Brittany already.

* * *

The uncomfortable tension lingers between them as they say goodnight to her parents and make their way up to her room. Once they're tucked away inside Santana feels her pulse pounding in her ears as her eyes seek out Brittany's.

Brittany shifts under her gaze, squirming awkwardly until she's forced to move away. She heads over to her side of Santana's bed and removes her clothes, shrugging into one of Santana's old t-shirts and climbs under the covers.

Santana follows Brittany's lead, dropping her bag at the foot of the bed before peeling her dress off and climbing in next to Brittany. She hears Brittany swallow nervously and shuffles closes to her, her fingers stretching out tentatively to brush against Brittany's arm, trying to spark a connection, to urge her closer.

Brittany flinches at her touch though and withdraws her arm, choosing instead to reach out for the light, her eyes refusing to meet Santana's when she says, "It's late... we should get some sleep."

Santana nods sadly as the darkness closes in around them and stares at the space where she knows Brittany is, willing and willing Brittany to roll towards her, to tangle their legs together as she curls around Santana's body and rests her hand on Santana's waist like she usually does.

When the covers finally crinkle from Brittany's movement, Santana hold her breath in anticipation and when Brittany's warmth doesn't surround her, she squints her eyes to find Brittany's shape in the darkness, and discovers Brittany rolled over on her side away from her.

Santana tries to swallow away the dryness in her mouth as she stares at Brittany's back and wonders how she's meant to keep them from falling apart when Brittany's already starting to let go and pull away.

As Brittany's breathing evens out into a gentle snuffle, Santana finds her eyes unwilling to close for more than a few seconds, and even in those moments, her eyelids burn with the image of a red envelope.

* * *

She feels content to watch Brittany sleep; her mouth parted just a little and her fist curled up beneath her chin as her eyelids flicker slightly as her unconscious mind dreams. Santana's pretty sure Brittany's never looked more beautiful than she does when she's basked in the morning sunlight, her blonde hair spread messily over her pillow, as her blue, catlike eyes blink into wakefulness, her body stretching as she hums sleepily.

Santana shifts slightly, making herself more comfortable as she lays perched up on her elbow, her head resting against her hand as waits for Brittany to wake. It's a little after nine when Brittany's eyes finally flutter open and Santana feels her eyes soften as her mouth shapes into an adoring smile.

"Hey you," Santana murmurs lovingly, watching as Brittany blinks and blinks until her vision is steady.

"Hey," Brittany whispers back, her eyes still lingering with sadness.

Santana reaches out, letting her fingertips trace the edge of Brittany's jaw before she cups her cheek and leans forward to press a kiss to Brittany's forehead. She holds her lips to Brittany's skin until she feels Brittany's fingers curling around her wrist and holding her in place.

It makes Santana sigh in relief as she pulls back, dropping a quick kiss to the tip of Brittany's nose as she smiles at her.

"Santana..." Brittany starts, her eyes apologetic as turns to press a kiss to Santana's palm.

Santana shakes her head, and lets her thumb caress against the soft skin of Brittany's cheek to let her know it's okay, that they're okay.

"I have something for you," Santana says, reluctantly pulling her hand from Brittany's face as she reaches beneath her pillow and draws out the red envelope, placing it in the space between them. Brittany's brow furrows in confusion and Santana simply nudges the envelope closer to Brittany to take. "Well, it's for both of us really," Santana explains as she watches Brittany's fingers fumble to open it.

Brittany's eyes widen as she pulls the cheque out and she shakes her head as she looks to Santana. "This is the money your parents gave you for your future, Santana. It's for you to go and achieve your dreams. It's _your_ money, not mine, not ours," Brittany says, holding the cheque out for Santana to take back. "I'm still a senior, remember? Why would I need money when I'm gonna be stuck here in Lima."

Santana watches Brittany's gaze drop, and she can see the disappointment, the frustration, the anger, and the hurt written across Brittany's face, and it only makes her more determined to get Brittany to understand what she's trying to say.

She refuses to take the cheque from Brittany's grasp and instead shuffles closer to her, covering Brittany's hand with her own until they're both holding the cheque between them. Santana nudges Brittany's nose with her own until sad, defeated blue eyes are looking back at her.

"I'm so, so, sorry that you didn't graduate, Britt," Santana starts, ducking her head and refusing to let Brittany look away from her. "I'm even more sorry that I didn't help you. I should have paid more attention. I should have helped you when you were struggling."

"It's not your fault, Santana," Brittany interrupts, offering a small reassuring smile. "I just wasn't smart enough to pass," Brittany shrugs helplessly.

Santana shakes her head. "No, that's crap, Brittany. You _are _smart. You should have been on that stage graduating with us. That fucking school let you down. If they knew you were failing they should have helped you... they should have let me help you."

Brittany exhales deeply. "At least I can repeat senior year. I'm still president and, hey, second time lucky, right? Hopefully at least."

Santana sees the way Brittany tries to make light of it, to play it off like it's no big deal. But it is a big deal. Santana knows Brittany wanted to graduate with them and Santana knows Brittany's smart enough to get the grades, and that's why she can't just let this all go like it's nothing.

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about," Santana says, her heart pounding nervously. "I want you to come to New York with me, Britt."

"Baby..." Brittany murmurs, shaking her head and reaching out to brush the hair away from Santana's face as she stares deeply into her eyes. "New York is _your _dream."

"And what about your dream, Britt?" Santana asks, determined to make things right, to do something, anything to take that crushed look away from Brittany's beautiful face. "What do you want to do?"

Brittany looks away and lets out a shaky breath. "I don't get to have a dream yet, Santana. Not until I graduate. I can't just..." Brittany trails off, stumbling for the right thing to say. "Going out there and sharing your amazing talent with the world is your dream, baby. You're going to go out there and blow them all away, I just know it."

"No, it's not," Santana retorts quickly, her eyes welling with tears. "Don't you get it," Santana murmurs when Brittany brow crinkles in confusion. "_You_ are my dream, Britt. You're the one that convinced me to go to singing lessons when I was eleven after you caught me singing that day in my room. You're the one that helped me learn all of the Cheerio routines so that we could join the team together. You're the one that kissed me when we were fourteen and refused to leave me alone even after I ran away scared and refused to talk to you for a week. You're the one that never gave up on me, and made me realise who I am and what love really is. _You_ are the reason for who I am today."

She thumbs away the tears rolling down Brittany's cheeks, as Brittany tilts forward until their foreheads are pressed together, her voice catching in her throat as she whimpers out a disbelieving, "_Santana_..."

"You make everything possible," Santana shivers as Brittany's warm breath whispers against her face, their noses nuzzling together as Santana finds Brittany's eyes. "You make me possible, Brittany."

Santana feels her eyes flutter closed as Brittany closes the remaining gap between them, kissing her soft and slow until Santana can feel Brittany's love for her seeping into her skin.

"Come to New York, or LA, or wherever, with me," Santana breathes when they break apart. "I can try and find somewhere to sing and you can audition to dance, and while we're doing that I'll help you get your GED, you don't have to repeat senior year, there's other ways we can do this."

"I want to come with you so much, Santana, you have no idea. But what if I can't do it. What if I can't make it out there like you can?" Brittany chokes out even as Santana pulls her closer.

"I _believe_ in you so much, Britt, I know you can achieve anything that you want to achieve," Santana says through a smile, watching as Brittany sniffles and smiles back at her. "I just... I want us to achieve our dreams together. Being a kickass singer in a big city won't mean anything to me if I don't get to come home at the end of the day and share it with you. I want to share my life with you, Britt. All of the good and all of the bad and just... _all_ of it. I need you and me to be together. I don't know how to be me without you."

Brittany bites at her lip. "I don't want to hold you back."

"You won't, because you're going to kick this GED's ass Lima Heights style, and then you and me are going to get married and achieve all of our hopes and dreams and live happily ever after. I promise," Santana replies reassuringly, her eyes begging Brittany to believe her. "We can do this, Britt. I know we can."

Brittany lets out an amused breath and smiles as she shakes her head in disbelief. "People are going to think we're crazy if we do this, you know that, right?"

Santana feels her heart race as Brittany's eyes glimmer brightly. "Is that a yes you'll come with me?"

Brittany nods her head and leans forward to press a lingering kiss to Santana's lips. "It's a yes... yes, to _all_ of it."

Santana squeals excitedly as her fingers reach to tickle at Brittany's ribs, loving the way Brittany bursts into happy laughter and pulls at Santana until she's on her back with Santana above her, staring down at her with unconditional love.

"We're going to be so happy, Britt. This will be the best decision we ever make, I promise," Santana whispers as her hand settles over Brittany's heart, taking comfort in its strong, steady beat.

"I'm gonna hold you to these promises, by the way," Brittany murmurs as she lets her fingers trail down Santana's neck, across her collar-bone, and down between her breasts until she's pressing her hand against Santana's heart, mirroring Santana's actions. "Especially the one about us getting married and living happily ever after."

Santana grins happily at that, her world suddenly feeling very, very right again. "You got yourself a deal Ms Pierce."

Brittany shakes her head, as she tugs at Santana's face until their lips are brushing. "It's future Mrs Lopez-Pierce, actually."

"I like the sound of that," Santana breathes shakily, her eyes fluttering closed as Brittany kisses her sweetly, their lips pressing together again and again, sealing each and every one of their promises to each other until there's not a single doubt left.


End file.
